The Many Jokes of John LeBaptiste

Via John LeBaptiste

Q. What did the waiter say to the man who couldn’t decide if he wanted to eat a 50s pop crooner or a hairy North American bovoid?

A. Roy or bison?

 

Old Rope digs shit jokes.

 

Old Rope – All style and no content since 2009!

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 1st, 2009 at 4:26 pm and is filed under Regular Rope. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

11 Responses to “The Many Jokes of John LeBaptiste”

  1. johnlebaptiste Says:
    November 2, 2009 at 11:44 am | Reply

    It’s funny because it’s true.

  2. Mick Says:
    November 4, 2009 at 10:58 pm | Reply

    You may listen to Adam and Jo and thier ‘made up jokes’ section. Jokes have to have been totally made up ny the listeners.
    This was my (sadly un aired) submission (including intro/back story):

    When Jean Paul Sartre died I was living in a shared house where we all loved jokes.
    We had heard it on the radio in the morning – and we gave ourselves the task of each making up a joke by the week end – this was mine:

    (You may recall it was duting a hot spell..) here goes……….

    It is the funeral of Jean Paul Sartre, The body had been lying on display for the last few daysat the home of his partner – Simone de Beavoiur, who lived there with her son. However, due to the crowds the funeral cortege could not get through, time was moving on and in desperation Simone had to hail down a taxi and she and her son put the body in that and set off to the funeral ceremony.
    With the crowds the journey took hours and with the heat the body was really beggining to smell
    Finally they got there, asked the taxi to wait and they unloaded the body and went in to the ceremony.
    Afterwards Simone and her son got back in the taxi, which still smelt, but now the crowds had disperssed and they could speed through the streets. Her son wound down the window to get fresh air. As Simone sniffed into her handkerchief, she turned to her son, saying ‘you know, now that Jean has gone, I feel strangely better’.

    he replied: ‘That’s because the taxi stench is less mum’

  3. oldrope Says:
    November 5, 2009 at 12:12 am | Reply

    good lord

  4. johnlebaptiste Says:
    November 5, 2009 at 10:10 pm | Reply

    Everyone likes a nice joke.

  5. oldrope Says:
    November 6, 2009 at 10:36 am | Reply

    Give us another, JLB…

  6. johnlebaptiste Says:
    November 6, 2009 at 12:12 pm | Reply

    This one was invented by my pal Stephen. It’s my current fave:

    Q. Why should you avoid Russian underpants?

    A. Chernobyl fallout

  7. oldrope Says:
    November 6, 2009 at 4:33 pm | Reply

    I need to change my pants now. Pished em laughing :D

  8. johnlebaptiste Says:
    November 6, 2009 at 5:53 pm | Reply

    Here’s another, by my Welsh chum and manservant, Alwyn:

    Q. What was Luther’s least favourite variety of air freshener?

    A. Pot Pourri

  9. Mick Says:
    November 8, 2009 at 1:30 pm | Reply

    How do you kill a circus?

    go for the juggler

  10. oldrope Says:
    November 11, 2009 at 11:55 am | Reply

    Another care of JleB (he sends them to me via morse-code down the wire in the middle of the night):

    Q: Why did the equine gentleman keep flashing his big donkey cock in public?

    A: Because he loved to be the centaur of attention. Sebsequently he was boiled down for glue.

  11. johnlebaptiste Says:
    November 11, 2009 at 8:45 pm | Reply

    This is a joke adapted from a John Cooper Clarke routine:

    Q. Hello
    A. (grunts)
    (45 minute silence)
    Q. Do you have any hobbies?
    A. yeah
    (another 45 minute silence)
    Q. What are they?
    A.(grunts)
    Q. What are your hobbies?
    A. Beekeeping
    Q. How many hives have you got?
    A. One
    Q. How many bees have you got?
    A. Twenty million
    Q. Twenty million bees. And one hive. Wow. Where do they all go?
    A. I don’t know. Fuck ‘em. (cries)

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