We Can But Dream… A COMPETITION!


I'm not. But if I was......

As repeatedly proven in these pages, Old Rope attracts all manner of unusual punters, all furtively searching the dark corridors of the interweb for their own particular brand of nonsense. I hope they enjoy what they find, though I can’t help but suspect that many leave disappointed. Needless to say, as soon as I find a picture of Ricky Martin’s penis (I’ll ask him next time he comes round for tea) I will share it with y’all.

One search term that has cropped up numerous times is “i am not a gay, but if i was, or if i w…”.

Funky, huh? But I still have no idea how the sentence should end. And so I have taken the advice of renowned non-gayist John Le Baptiste to launch this, our inaugural competition.

All you need to do is complete the sentence, “i am not a gay, but if i was, or if i w”… Post your suggestions in the comments section below. The best entry wins a picture of either Ricky Martin’s penis, ‘women pleasuring themselves’, ‘”peru kissing” couples’, ‘Leona Lewis hair’, ‘porn football’….. or indeed any of the other things listed in our last set of search-terms. To juicify the deal, all pictures will be signed by Old Rope thus increasing their market value by -20%.

To help you explore your own feelings on the subject, why not try Channel 4’s Gay-ometer, to see how gay you already are?

Rules and regulations: Being “not gay” is not compulsory to enter, Old Rope is an equal opportunities blog. Homophobia or straightphobia will not be tolerated and will be punished with disqualification and rumours being spread around the school yard that you are / are not gay (depending on offence committed). Multiple entries encouraged (to make it look more popular). The winner will be judged by Tom Cruise, a man who is not gay but knows exactly what it would be like if he was.

Remember, complete the following sentence…

i am not a gay, but if i was, or if i w…